


Perdu dans l'obscurité

by EndoratheWitch



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Bands, Drinking, F/M, Fighting, Kissing, Music, Reylo - Freeform, Rock Star AU, Some mature themes, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-18 12:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5928163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rock Star Kylo Ren meets up and coming star Rey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Music

**Author's Note:**

> my-badgerpride on tumblr gave me this awesome prompt:
> 
> Rock star AU: Ben is an upcoming star in the family run music company, Jedi. However, he betrays his family legacy to join a company that produces significantly darker music, known as The First Order (it had been previously called The Empire, but had been shut down by Uncle Luke). His new band is The Knights of Ren. In his absence, a new star rises at Jedi. Will she rise so high with her band mates, that The First Order will crumble once more, ending their need to spread negative, mentally damaging music?

Kylo leaned into the microphone, his lips just barely touching it as he sang. His fingers moved swiftly over the guitar strings, strumming out a hard sound. Phasma behind him slammed on the drums like a powerhouse. The tall woman snarled with a happy sneer, like she was beating them, her well-muscled arms moving quickly. Hux grinned at Kylo. The red-headed man walked over to him and the two men leaned their backs against each other as they played, their guitars working together yet struggling against each other at the same time causing a chaos of sound that somehow worked. The crowd jumped up and down to the music. They screamed the lyrics back to Kylo's song or chanted “KNIGHTS OF REN!!!” 

The atmosphere was intense and the mosh pit near the front became more and more violent, which only made the band members grin like maniacs. The words to their heavy dark songs fueled the fire of hate, passion, violence, drugs and—of course—rock-n-roll. The lights flashed on the band and over the crowd highligting and helping to provoke the chaos in the audience. Kylo sneered, his voice moving the crowd into a frenzy. 

A young woman managed to make it up on stage. She threw her arms around Kylo at the same moment another managed to get up and wrap herself around Hux's legs. Security moved swiftly to yank the young women off. Phasma gave a snarky grin, her own couple of fans, a guy and a young woman had been yanked off by security just a few seconds before. Chaos thrived around the band whenever they played and the Knights of Ren played off those darker emotions from their fans, as if they were strengthened from it. Kylo thought of the mayhem as a controlled form of chaos, a type of order that his band focused, controlled, and guided. 

There were other members of the band, one on keyboards, one on an electric violin, and they had two rhythm guitarists. But it was the center three, Kylo, Hux and Phasma, who were the main focus of The Knights of Ren. They were the center of all photo shoots and magazine articles, the three dark knights. 

Kylo laughed, leaning into the microphone again. He was covered in sweat, but he cut a handsome figure as his long, dark hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. He finished the song, leaned back, and set his guitar down to yank off his t-shirt. He threw it into the crowd, which caused a mass of screaming and reaching hands. Hux started to play the next song, their last for the night, entitled, “ Join the Dark.” 

The song was a seduction, the words heavy with meaning, with pull and lust. There was none of the shouting of their usual music in this song. Kylo cast a net, a lure to the audience in telling them of the pleasure the dark held, the way they could reach higher states of being by giving in to the dark side. 

There were women in the audience who actually swooned as he sang. The power of his music, his voice, moved over the crowd like a dark erotic, caressing their souls. The song ended on a hard note of pain, his voice filled the last lyrics of the song with so much emotion that the crowd erupted into a frenzy of pleasure, screaming, crying, and cheering as the lights blinked out. The audience was in complete darkness. When the lights finally returned, The Knights of Ren were gone. 

* 

Backstage Kylo was grinning. Hux snarled, “That could have gone better.” 

Phasma stretched her arms over her head with a sedcutive grin on her face, which momentarily distracted the red-headed guitarist. 

“What the fuck are you talking about Hux?” Kylo leaned his guitar against the wall, flopping down onto the couch in the shared dressing room. He was exhausted, but pleased with the concert. 

“You didn't do that song Snoke wanted you to perform tonight. The one I wrote.” Hux glanced at Kylo with a sneer, but Phasma grabbed him pulling him against her. 

“Shut up, Hux.” She grabbed the back of his head, twisting her fingers in his red hair and kissed him. Kylo rolled his eyes turning away. “Take it in the other room would you two?” 

Hux dug his fingers into Phasma's shirt tugging it up slightly to expose her sides. He leaned away from her long enough to spit. “We are not done talking about this, Ren.” 

Kylo ignored him as Phasma dragged her boyfriend to the showers in the back of the dressing room. 

* 

Much later that night, actually early morning, Kylo was back at the hotel. He had just finished showering, having chosen to wait until he was alone. He just had a towel around his waist, his damp hair in disarray from being towel dried. The room was quiet, the lights were dim, and a cart had been brought in from room service. He lifted the lid on one of the trays on the cart with a smile. The food looked and smelled good, which made his stomach rumble loudly. He picked the plate up and walked over to where his laptop sat. 

He could have taken any number of women back to the room with him, but he had never been interested in one-night stands, or women who just wanted to be able to say they had had sex with the lead singer of Knights of Ren. He would never admit maybe it was because he wanted something more than just sex. 

He sat down at his laptop, flipping up the top as he sat the plate with some sort of chicken dish down next to it. He was not quite ready to turn in, still wired from the show. He searched the web for a little while looking at reviews of their latest album, some emails from fans, and then brought up his uncle's website, Jedi Music. He didn't know why he did, but there on the front of the website page was a picture of their label's new up and coming star, The Resistance. The band was made up of three members, but his eyes were drawn immediately to the lead singer, Rey. It wasn't so much that she was beautiful, which was obvious, but there was a fire in her eyes, an innocence that he recognized. He frowned reaching forward to hit on the link to a video. It started to play as he leaned back in the chair to listen, the food forgotten. 

As the song began, Kylo got the strangest feeling. Her voice was like nothing he had ever heard before; it was haunting and powerful. It was a force of its own, reaching out to wrap itself around his heart and squeeze. The pain was very real, which caused him to sit forward. 

His eyes were glued to her. She wore an outfit that had a lot of draped cloth with pale colors. It wasn't designed to be sexy, but it was. Her hair, pulled back into three knots, showed off her youth and a determined face. The soft beige colors made her deep brown eyes pop from the screen. He watched the video to the end, the song about light, love, and forgiveness. Kylo frowned. It was something he would have written a few years ago before everything fell apart. He shut the computer down, but the song seemed to rest in his heart. He snarled. Of course his uncle would hire a band like that with a stupid name, The Resistance. He would not be the least bit surprised if that name wasn't chosen by his uncle as a dig at him and Knights of Ren. 

Kylo got up, walking over to his suitcase pulling out a pair of boxers. He threw the towel across the room, angrily slipping on the boxers before yanking the covers of the bed back. He stared at it, knowing he couldn't sleep. If he slept, the dreams would come, the car accident, the night his father died, what had been the beginning of the end with Jedi records, his mother, family, all of it. 

He pulled out the notebook he kept with him all the time and started to write. All his music came from this notebook. The pain, the darkness, the falling, all the things his mother and uncle had not been able to understand or help him with, but The New Order records had understood, had encouraged the using of the dark lyrics. Granted, that had changed in recent years; the songs they wanted held messages of change, dissent, power and threats. It wasn't what he had started with, but he could not go back. That path had long ago been blocked off for him. 

* 

Across the city Rey, Finn and Poe were laughing as they watched their very first video on the Jedi records website. Squealing, Rey covered her face with her hands, falling back onto the couch. “Oh my gosh!! I cannot believe we did that!!” 

Finn was in the middle of the couch, Poe on the other end. Finn had his head resting on Poe's lap. Poe absently ran his fingers over Finn's hair as he used the remote to turn off the tv. “Wow! We actually sound pretty good.” 

Finn snorted. “Rey and I sound good. You were average.” 

Poe looked down at him with a grin. “You wound me!” Both men laughed, Finn leaning up just as Poe leaned down to share a kiss. “Ugh, you two stop being so cute!!” 

Finn laughed. His legs were on her lap, making it easy for her to grab his knees. “Hey, no tickling!!!” 

They laughed together as Rey pushed off Finn's legs. “You guys hungry?” 

Poe groaned. “No, no, please no more of your attempts at cooking!!” 

* 

Later that evening Rey was in her room. She had the volume down low on her computer so that Finn and Poe would not hear as she watched a pirate video of the latest Knights of Ren concert. She wasn't so much about their newer music, but some of their first songs were great. Some of their work spoke to her loneliness and feeling lost. She adored Kylo Ren's voice, the Knights' lead singer. She leaned on her elbow, her chin in her hand watching him sing. When the last song played though, her heart skipped several beats. It was softer, much more along the lines of their older songs, the ones she actually liked. She blushed a bit, watching Kylo Ren singing. She would never admit she had a crush on him that began when he first was with Jedi. That music was her absolute favorite, and had in fact been what had inspired her to write her own songs and sing. 

It made her physically hurt when his music changed, when he went from being solo artist Ben Solo to Kylo Ren of The Knights of Ren. At first it was darker, but she could commune with the lyrics still. He spoke about the loneliness and isolation of not being understood. But these last albums had been violent, not a darkness of the soul, but something else entirely, something she didn't understand. But she still listened because Ben Solo's voice still held the passion from his earlier recordings. Watching the pirated concert video though, that last song almost felt like a plea for help. 

Granted, he was singing about darkness still, but...she didn't know, something about it pulled at her. Turning off her computer she wondered idly if now that she was in the “business,” would she get to meet him one day?


	2. Write me a Song

Kylo glanced at his cellphone. It had just gone off again where it sat on the glass table next to him. He sighed. He was going to have to take the call sooner or later, but he just wasn't in the mood to talk to Snoke right now. He was on the balcony of his hotel room with his notebook on his lap writing. His legs were stretched out in the lounge chair, though he was not out here for the sun. It was the sounds of the city that helped calm him, that was what he was out here for—to hear the sounds and write. 

He was dressed in dark jeans and a button down shirt just thrown on with no t-shirt underneath. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The closest thing he was to sunbathing was that the shirt was unbuttoned exposing his chest and stomach to the sunlight. 

He was writing about a woman, a woman made of light. The song was infused by that woman Rey. The way she looked, the way her voice rang out with such purity of sound. Part of what drew him was the way she looked, but a great deal of it was her voice, the way she sang, the way she filled a song with a glow of light. It was amazing. 

The song he was writing was about darkness falling in love with the light, but never able to tell it, never able to be free of the dark and the ultimate destruction of the darkness as it tried to save the light. It was a love song of sorts, but filled with longing and death. As with all love stories, as far as he was concerned, it ended in the object of affection being destroyed. 

He had been so focused on his writing that he didn't realize how late it had gotten when there was a loud knocking at his door. Sighing he walked inside and tossed his notebook onto the bed before approaching the door. He peered out the peephole his face dropping into a deep frown when he saw Hux standing there scowling as always. Ren opened the door. “What do you want? We don't have a show until the start of those fucking summer concert series at the stadium.” 

Hux pushed his way in walking past Kylo. “Snoke called, said you hadn't been answering your phone.” Hux looked around. “Have you eaten? You been in here this whole time?” 

“No, I haven't eaten, yes I've been here the whole time. I was busy writing. I didn't feel like talking to anyone.” 

Hux gave Ren the stink eye. “Oh man, I don't care. I just don't want Snoke riding my ass. I get tired of playing your nursemaid.” 

He threw himself down into one of the chairs glaring at Ren. “You need to eat something. I'm going to order some food.” 

Kylo made a face sitting on the bed then falling backwards onto his back. “Where is Phasma and everyone else?” 

Kylo couldn't see Hux face, but he could hear the smile in it. “She's at the gym. Not sure where the rest of the band are at the moment, doing whatever it is they like to do. But dude, you better call Snoke soon.” 

“Fine, I'll call him.” 

Hux got on the room's phone. He ordered some food while Kylo took his cellphone and walked back onto the balcony. He hit the button to call Snoke who picked up on the first ring. “I saw the concert. You didn't perform the last song we agreed on.” 

No hello, nothing, just right to the problem. “No. The song I performed felt right for that crowd.” 

There was silence for a moment followed by. “We discussed this. You need to perform the songs that we agreed upon. Are you working on the other song?” 

Kylo closed his eyes. Snoke wanted him to write a song that pushed an agenda of fighting the establishment, but with extremely violent overtones. On one hand Kylo felt the power of the song, understood it, but there was always that part of him that was quietly disturbed by the words, the power of music to cause change. What Snoke wanted was not just change through music, he wanted power. Kylo had been with the company now ten years and it had been becoming steadily more and more about pushing the listeners into action. 

Kylo shook his head to push back his doubts. “It will be ready to debut at the summer series concerts.” 

Snoke's voice was like a hiss. “Good. I knew you could be counted on.” 

He abruptly cut off the conversation, the phone going dead. Kylo frowned, staring at it for a moment before he snarled and threw the phone down hard enough that it shattered against the balcony. Hux came out then with a frown as he looked down at the phone. “Guess I will order you another one.” 

* 

The next day, Finn and Poe were excited. Luke Skywalker, the owner of Jedi music and their manager had just informed them that their band, The Resistance, had been booked to be part of a series of summer concerts at the city's biggest venue in the city, The StarKiller stadium. The summer series was going to include a wide variety of bands and music, some opening for others with several big names. It was a great chance for the band to be seen and heard on a large scale. 

Rey came into the studio, carrying a large bottle of water, her bo staff on her back, along with her gym bag. Dressed in her favorite work-out outfit, Rey came in with a little bounce in her step, a pair of capri yoga pants and her favorite t-shirt that had blazon across it, “Fight like a Girl.” 

She was in the middle of drinking from her bottle when she stopped short, everyone grinning at her, her lips stuck in an “O” around the top of the bottle. She pulled the bottle away. “What?” 

Finn jumped up, grabbed her and swung her around in a circle. While she enjoyed the sudden expression of joy, she looked completely confused. 

Finn chuckled. “We are going to be playing at Starkiller stadium!! 

“What? Really?” She glanced at Luke and then Poe both of whom nodded vigorously. 

“YES!!” She threw her arms in the air. 

* 

It was late in the afternoon that same day. Rey sat in a coffee shop. It was nearing early evening and the shop wasn't that busy. This was her favorite time to work on writing her songs. Poe and Finn were off killing some time, before they got back together tonight to practice. She thought she heard Poe say something about heading down to the beach to do some wind surfing or something. She smiled thinking about the two of them. They were so cute together, she was both happy for them and a little jealous. She wanted someone in her life. 

She reached over to pick up her coffee absently as she studied the words of the song she was working on. She happened to glance up and her eyes went very wide. She would swear the guy in line at the counter with a beat up notebook under his arm, was Kylo Ren! He was dressed in black jeans, a black hoodie, the hood up, strands of his black hair curled around his face, he was standing with his hands buried in the pockets of the hoodie, the notebook trapped between his body and arm. She couldn't be absolutely sure, but the profile looked like his. He was slouching a bit as he waited in line. She looked around to see if anyone else recognized him. Nope. 

She started jumping her leg with nervous energy, not sure what to do. Finally, just as he picked up his order, turned around she leapt up and walked up to him. He stopped short glaring at her. “Ah Hey! You're Ben Solo right?” She smiled. 

Kylo was frozen. It was her, the girl from that video on the website, lead singer of the Resistance. Up close, she was even more beautiful, her brown hair pulled back into the three buns that he wondered if they were her her trademark, wearing simple beige caprsi and a white t-shirt, nothing fancy, simple, pure, like her, he thought. 

He retreated behind his glare. “The name is Kylo Ren.” 

She blushed. “Yeah, you're the lead singer for The Knights of Ren right? I've been following you since your solo career. My name is Rey, I have my own band and we just put out our first video actually. Our album will be out after a summer series concerts here in the city. Anyway, I really loved your song writing and would really love some pointers.” She had leaned in close keeping her voice at a whisper which he appreciated, even if she was speaking quickly trying to get everything out before he bolted. She glanced down at her white tennis shoes moving the toe of one foot around. 

“Uh...would you like to sit with me?” 

Ren looked confused, he was accustomed to women wanting him so they could say they made it with a rock star, but not to have coffee with him. “Why?” 

She seemed surprised. “Well, honestly? I would like to ask you about song writing. I'm working on a song and I really admire your work...” 

The honest confusion on his face was cute. He stuttered slightly. “Ah, sure.” After he purchased his bitter, black coffee, she walked him over to her table. He pulled the chair next to hers out and sat, surprising himself. This woman, he had been mesmerized by her on screen, compelled to write a song about light, darkness, love and now she was here. 

He pressed his lips together, oddly nervous. Then he saw that she had a notebook, not a computer, on the table in front of her along with her coffee. “You write your music in that?” 

She looked embarrassed. “Yeah, I like it better than a computer. Easier to carry around and it just feels more real when I write in it.” 

He set his own notebook on the table next to hers. “Yeah, I think I understand that.” 

She giggled softly with a blush. “Do you mind looking at this song I'm writing?” 

He smiled. “Sure.” 

She handed her notebook to him after she opened it folding it back to a certain page. He started reading it. It was...incredible. The words were beautiful; it spoke deeply of loneliness, need, isolation, all the things he felt, not with the hatred he cultivated, but with a pure innocence, a hope for the future. 

He looked up to see her sipping her coffee and watching him intently. 

“You're good,” he murmured in surprise. “You have the makings of a great artist. Really. You just need a teacher, someone to show you how to navigate the music world. I could help you.” 

She blushed. “You really think so?” 

He handed her back her notebook. “I do. You ever consider changing studios?” 

“Leave Jedi? Nah, I couldn't. Beside Mr. Skywalker said he could teach us a lot, plus protect us from some of the nastier elements of the music business.” 

Kylo snarled. “Don't believe him. He lies. Besides, once you start making him money, you suddenly won't be as important to him as other artists on the label. Especially when you need him to be.” 

Kylo stood up abruptly, grabbing his notebook. “Let me see your phone.” 

She was a bit stunned at the change in his demeanor, but she handed him her phone without thinking about it. He took it and quickly put his number into it. He tossed the phone back to her. “You change your mind? Call me.” Then he turned and walked away. 

With his back to her, he pulled out his new phone and quickly put in her number that he had gotten off her phone. He frowned, for a split second he thought about deleting it, but he saved it instead, shoving the phone back in his back pocket. 

* 

Later that night Kylo was in his hotel room, blissfully alone. He was sitting on his bed strumming his guitar. He was thinking about the song she had written in that notebook. He began without realizing it, writing a reply to her. He started singing softly to himself, closing his eyes imagining her face in his mind's eye. She had looked so innocent, full of beauty and inspiration. That was when his new phone laying on the bed buzzed with an incoming text. He snarled almost throwing the guitar until he picked up the phone. It was her, Rey. “Sleep well, Kylo.” 

He blinked in shock and then quickly texted back. “You 2 Rey.” 

* 

He snarled as he sang into the microphone. They were rehearsing at the StarKiller stadium the following day. The Knights of Ren was one of the bigger bands playing in the series. He held the note ending it on a scream of passion. Phasma started slamming on the drums just as Kylo went into a heavy, rough guitar solo that even the janitors working were getting into the music. It echoed through the empty stadium. Kylo dropped to his knees pulling the guitar over his lap. He was shirtless and sweating, playing with a passion no one could compete with. They had been practicing for hours, everyone was tired, but Kylo wasn't willing to stop. This concert had to be the one that sealed them as the greatest rock band of this generation. 

Hux was pissed because they had been here so long and the song was perfect. Except fucking Kylo wouldn't stop. Something was bugging Kylo and he was taking it out on them. Hux stopped at the end. “That's enough Kylo. For fuck's sake give it a rest!” 

Kylo stood glaring, then ripped his guitar off and threw it. He threw it so hard that it hit some of the front stage lights shattering them. Hux took a step forward, Kylo doing the same when Phasma leapt up and jogged over getting between them both. “You both need to cool off! Kylo, go shower! Hux come on! Everyone else, we're done!” 

Kylo stood there, his fingers flexing into fists until he finally walked off the stage without another word. 

Later he was on his motorcycle driving it too fast down the road. It had become dark hours ago and he had been driving. He didn't know what was bothering him. He had felt like this since meeting her, since he started writing that fucking song, about her, to her. He knew exactly what he needed, a drink and a good fight. He turned off of the highway and headed back into the city. Finally he found a place down in one of the bad parts of the city. He pulled in, parking his bike, throwing his helmet onto the handles and headed in. 

Walking up to the bar, Kylo was like a shadow, wearing all black again as he was prone to do, his hair up in messy bun, he slipped out of his leather jacket throwing it across his shoulder. Dark jeans and a matching t-shirt, nothing light about him. He pushed his way through the crowd, he was happy when he made it without anyone recognizing him. He pushed some HUGE guy with tattoos covering his bald head, out of the way. “Johnny Walker Black and keep them coming.” 

The barkeep frowned, but Kylo threw down some money on the bar. The man shrugged pouring the drink. He downed it without flinching, the burn down his throat helped him push thoughts of her out of his head, especially by the time he was on the sixth shot. There was a local band playing. Kylo laughed and started to jeer them, causing a couple of people to push him. Someone yelled. “Think you can do better, you punk ass bitch?” 

Kylo grinned and his brown eyes flashed. He walked up to the stage only slightly unsteady and yanked the guitar way from the guy singing. The guy took a swing at him, but Kylo ducked and upper cut him knocking him flat. The other band members started, but the crowd cheered at the uppercut and yelled to let him sing. Kylo smirked, grabbed the microphone as he spun around and started to sing. The words to the Rollings Stones song, “Sympathy for the Devil” came rolling out in angry yet sensual manner despite his drunkenness. 

The crowded started to yell, cheering as he sang digging into the guitar he yanked from the other singer. He sang “Bloodletting” by Concrete Blonde, his tongue licked across his lips sensually as he moaned into the mic, a couple of women reached up to touch him, running hands down his legs. He sneered as he sang, long fingers caressed the guitar like it was a woman against his body. 

After the song he bore into another one, Opeth's Bleak, yelling and growling into the mic. The crowd started to get more and more rowdy and he whipped them into a frenzy, the songs he chose getting harder and harder. At one point someone threw a bottle, it hit the guitar Kylo was playing. 

He yelled at the audience. “Who the fuck?!” Then he threw the guitar; after that things became chaotic. Kylo jumped into the crowd, even drunk he moved swiftly slamming his fist into a couple of men before someone grabbed him yanking him back so that another man could beat on him. He kicked upward taking the guy under the chin with his booted foot. One of the men holding him let go and came around to slug Kylo across the chin. 

Spitting blood, Kylo grinned his teeth stained red. The man who hit him looked suddenly scared. Kylo was on him in a heartbeat, starting to beat the shit out of him. It was not too long after that the bar was suddenly flooded with police. He was hauled backwards. Kylo turned and hit a cop before he was tazed, pushed down on his stomach and handcuffed. 

* 

It was morning before Kylo got his phone call. He was sober, but his head hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, his lip was swollen and split. But when he got his phone call instead of calling Snoke or Hux, he called her, he didn't he even know why. “Rey, yeah it's Kylo.” 

He could hear the smile in her voice. “Kylo, hey I didn't know you had my number!” 

He blushed staring down at the beat-up floor of the police station and muttered into the land-line phone. “Uh, could I ask a favor? “ 

Within a hour an officer came back. “Your bail's been made, come on.” 

Kylo walked out to see Rey standing there waiting for him. He must have woken her up this morning as she was wearing loose pajama pants with little flowers on them, a tank top with a loose jacket over it. She drew in a hissing breath when she saw him, beaten, knuckles scraped and bloody, his clothes torn smelling like alcohol and sweat. He looked at her, brown eyes pained. She reached out for one of his hands.

“Come on, you're coming home with me.”


	3. Sing Me a Song

He was silent. He was not really sure why he had called her and she didn't ask. She took him back to her apartment and found some of Finn's old clothes stuck in a closet. He watched her rummage around in the bottom of a closet. She turned, handed him some clothes and shoved him toward the apartment's small bathroom. “You shower. I am going to brew some coffee and make you breakfast.” He started to open his mouth, but she held up a hand. “Nope, shower. There is a spare toothbrush in a package under the sink. Go ahead and use it too.” Then she turned on her heels and walked away. He watched her go and then turned into the bathroom. The shower curtain that was hanging there was polka-dots. He stared at it, then smiled just a little. It was cute, like her. 

Soon he was naked in the shower, letting the hot water run over him. It eased his muscles, though his knuckles burned as the water washed away the dried blood making the raw flesh sting. He put his hands against the back of the shower, his shoulders leaned into the water letting it run down his back. He hung his head trying not to think about last night, the song, any of it. After a few minutes, he snarled slamming his fist hard into the shower wall, the pain clearing his mind as it raced up his arm breaking the scabs, letting blood run freely with the water. 

He could hear his phone ringing; he had made the mistake of turning it back on, checking his messages. Hux had been calling every hour on the hour. The messages became steadily more and more profanity ridden. He was worse than his mother had ever been about checking on him. 

He got out, drying off and pulling on the borrowed clothing. They didn't fit his taller frame very well, but they were clean and covered what was important. He finally walked out of the bathroom, toweling his hair when he smelled cooking bacon and heard her singing. She was singing an old Beatles tune, “Here Comes the Sun.” 

He peeked his head around the corner into the kitchen. She was weaving her hips back and forth, having changed into leggings, scrambling some eggs in a bowl on her hip with a whisk. She sang loudly and beautifully. “Little darling, I see the ice is slowly melting; Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear, Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right...” She turned around and saw him standing there watching her. She nearly dropped the bowl, swallowing her words as she choked for a moment. Kylo couldn't keep the grin off his face; the look of startled surprise on hers was amusing. 

“Uh, hey! The coffee is ready and the rest will be done soon. You can sit anywhere.” Rey set the bowl of eggs down and motioned around her small living room. 

Kylo frowned. Stepping into her kitchen, he seemed to fill up the space. She tried not to blush, but he was so close with damp hair and his unshaven face. His eyes were still a bit blood-shot, but all Rey could think about was how good he looked. Giving her a slight smile, he picked up a mug sitting by her little coffee pot and poured the coffee (black, of course) before he sat down at the kitchen table instead. The table was tiny, only big enough for the two chairs. 

“Thanks for picking me up. I...” He paused for a moment, not really sure what he was going to say and then muttered. “I didn't really have anyone else to call.” 

She smiled over her shoulder at him as she started to scramble the eggs. She especially noticed his eyes, they were brown and haunted. “No problem. I understand.” 

Kylo rolled the coffee mug around between his hands, staring at the black depths of the liquid within. Rey walked over carrying a plate of eggs and bacon, setting it down in front of him and then taking the seat across from him with her own plate. She handed him a fork with a smile. “Hope your stomach is up for some food, though I think it would be a good idea for you to eat after a night of drinking.” 

Frowning, he nodded. “Yeah, I could eat.” 

The two of them ate in silence. Rey didn't want to push him to talk, though inside she was flipping out that Ben Solo was sitting at her table eating eggs and bacon. She had admired his song writing for so long! And he had called her??!! Her!!! She stuffed a forkful of eggs into her mouth. Finn and Poe would not be happy at all. 

“You haven't asked me what happened?” Kylo murmured as he sipped his coffee. She stopped with her bite of bacon in her mouth. She bit off the piece and chewed before she answered. “Well, I figured if you wanted to tell me you would.” 

He smiled staring at his coffee. “I'm not really used to that...” 

She shrugged. “Hey, not my business.” 

He looked at her and then smiled. “You are odd.” 

Rey laughed. “Yeah, I know.” 

They were quiet again. Kylo found this nice, just eating breakfast. Rey was not only pretty and an excellent artist, but she was also quietly understanding. Sitting like this, minus the silence, reminded him of home, a place he hadn't been to in a long time. They finished eating in silence. Kylo stepped over to the sink with her and started to clean dishes. 

“Can you sing me one of your songs?” Kylo asked. 

She glanced at him, blushing. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah, why not?” He looked at her with such sincerity that she grinned. 

She started to sing a song she had written, but had not introduced to the band yet. She washed the dishes and moved to the music in her head. Kylo washed with her picking up the tune and started to hum along, then lightly began banging utensils. She laughed while she sang. Kylo stared at her profile. She was exactly her name, Rey, like the rays of the sun shining into his darkness. 

After the dishes he mentioned his motorcycle back at the bar. “I could take you and drop you off, if you want.” Rey smiled. 

“Sure. Thanks again.” 

She gave him a plastic bag and he shoved his clothing inside. He glanced up at her as he was doing so. “By the way, that song—was really good.” 

She blushed prettily. “Thank you.” 

He didn't know what else to say so he fell back into his typical quiet again. 

* 

Soon they were pulling up to the bar. Luckily, his motorcycle was still there, but the helmet was gone. He cursed under his breath as he checked over the machine to make sure that was the only thing missing. He had been very lucky. 

“Everything okay?” Rey leaned out her driver side window. 

“Yeah, it's cool.” He walked back over and leaned against her car, his right arm resting on the hood as he leaned in. “So uh, would you like to get together sometime, maybe work on some music?” 

Her whole face lit up. “Yeah. I would.” 

He looked down at the edge of her window, there was a soft smile there. “Okay then. Well, I better get going, band's probably thinking I'm dead or something. Maybe we could meet up later tonight? Buy you a late dinner?” 

That was when his eyes looked into her, it was the most intoxicating look she had ever seen. Smiling, Rey nodded. “Sounds good. Should I pick you up or...” 

He glanced over to his motorcycle. “You wanna ride with me?” 

She grinned. “Yes, I would love to! I should be done about ten or eleven tonight at Jedi. I mean if picking me up there isn't a problem?” 

For a moment pain washed over Kylo's face, but then he shrugged. “Nah, no problem at all. I will be there around 11pm. Sound good?” 

“Sounds great.” She grinned again, that bright radiant smile. He leaned in quickly and kissed her cheek before turning and walking toward his bike. 

Rey sucked her lips in, the place where his lips had touched her cheeked burned. But then she was starting her car and heading home. 

* 

Kylo, Hux and Phasma were all in his hotel room. They were working on the fucking song that Hux wrote, directed by Snoke. Kylo hated it, everything about, it but Snoke had been adamant. He wanted this song and the one he had insisted that Kylo write for the new album both needed to be ready to perform for the summer concert series. Kylo had the song he was writing about Rey on the side, telling no one about it. The song was more like what he used to write before changing over to First Order Records. There was hope in the words, longing for something unattainable. It was still tinged with the man he was now, the man who felt lost in darkness, but there was hope—hope in his lyrics had not been there for a long time. It confused him. Why had seeing this woman on a video, then spending such a short amount of time with her affected him so much? 

He had said nothing about meeting her tonight. He just knew that mentioning it might be a bad idea. At least right now. So, with anger held in place he worked on the songs for the band. His eyes kept straying to the clock wishing the time would go faster. 

* 

Finn was putting his guitar away, glancing up at Rey. “Hey, you want to go with Poe and me to get some food? Maybe a Red Box?” She finished putting away her own guitar, standing to fuss with her hair a little. “Oh, thanks, but nah I have plans...” Finn looked startled and opened his mouth to say so when Luke came in. “That was great guys! Really great! I just wanted to let you know I booked us some time at the stadium, give you chance to rehearse, hear how the acoustics play out, the stage...this is a great chance. I want you guys to have every opportunity.” 

Rey grinned. “Thanks, Luke.” 

He grinned and then his face fell a little his eyes widening when he heard the sound of a motorcycle outside. Rey gulped, thinking to herself. Oh, no. “Eh, yeah that sounds like my date.” She grinned and grabbed her purse rushing outside. Luke watched her go. Finn frowned. “She didn't say anything about a date.” 

Luke smiled at him. “Finn, Rey is a grown woman, she doesn't have to tell you everything even if you are her brother.” But both of them, gathering Poe along the way, went to the front office to look out the window. Luke's eyes widened, his blood running cold when he saw Ben. He had thought it was Ben's bike he heard...He couldn't believe it. Finn leaned against the window. “Is that Kylo Ren?” 

Poe came over next to him. “Holy shit, that is! Where they hell did she meet him?” 

They both turned to look at Luke. They knew about Ben Solo and of course they knew that Rey loved Solo's work. Luke watched as Rey greeted Ben. He handed her a helmet, putting his back on as Rey pulled hers on, getting behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. Luke wasn't sure how he felt. He hadn't seen Ben in a few years, knew he hadn't contacted his mother in all that time either. He had thought about reaching out when he heard that The Knights of Ren were in town, but hadn't yet tried to contact his nephew. He didn't really think that Ben would have appreciated it, not after how they left it last time. He turned away as Finn looked worried. “I mean, should we do something?” 

Luke shook his head. “No. Just...Rey is safe with Ben. I'm sure of it. Look, see you guys tomorrow.” Finn and Poe shared a look and then shrugged. Poe took Finn's hand. “Come on, we will stop at the burger joint you like with those onion rings.” 

Finn grinned. “You know how to seduce me, don't you?” 

Poe laughed. “I'm king of charm, baby.” 

* 

Rey held on tightly to Kylo's waist. He raced through the streets, grinning. He only told her he was taking her someplace he hadn't been since he was younger. As they finally turned a corner around into a parking lot, she saw where they were going, a karaoke bar! When she got off the bike and pulled her helmet off, Rey was grinning so much her cheeks hurt. “A karaoke bar? Seriously?” 

Kylo blushed, but his grin was a smirk. “Thought we might have a little competition. A sing off.” 

Giggling, Rey put her hands on her hips. “So what does the winner get?' 

Kylo smirked. “Respect.” 

“Pffft!” Rey made a face and Kylo actually laughed. “Okay, fine, how about the winner's song gets recorded on the next album of the loser.” 

“Okay, so if I win you have to record one of my songs?” 

Kylo grinned. “Yep. And if I win, you have to record one of my songs.” 

“Oh, you are on!” Rey put out her hand and they shook on it. 

* 

Soon they had a booth to themselves, with some steak sandwiches, fries and a couple of large sodas. It was almost midnight, but the place was open until three a.m. Rey sat leaning back against the cushions of the rounded seats set up against the wall. She held a fry between her teeth like a cigarette. “Okay, emo boy, let's hear those pipes.” 

With a burst of laughter that surprised both of them, Kylo programmed a song into the machine. He slipped out of his jacket as he picked up the mic. He lifted a brow at her. “Don't you dare eat all those fries.” 

She answered by shoving the fry into her mouth with a smirk. Kylo turned, glancing at the screen and began to sing. “He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night, He's the blood stain on the stage, He's the tear in your eye, Been tempted by his lie He's the knife in your back He's rage...” She squealed as she recognized the Motley Crue song, “Shout at the Devil.” She started moving back and forth in her seat as he held the mic, barely looking at the words on the screen. His voice rang out in the small room. He grinned as he sang, snarling out the words in a deep sexy voice. Rey clapped and sang along with the chorus of “Shout, shout, shout!!” His voice rose high, but with a perfect pitch and his hips moved in time to the music. He had a hold of his t-shirt with his other hand, doing a sexy stage performance as he snarled and licked at the microphone singing with intensity. She grinned like a school-girl getting her own personal performance by Kylo Ren! 

When he was done, he bowed with a snarky grin at her. Giggling, she caught the mic as he tossed it at her. “Alright, buddy.” 

She flipped through the song list finally stopping on a song by Pat Benatar, “You Better Run.” She gave Kylo a smoldering look, which had him swallowing. She held the mic gently, but when she started to sing, her voice took on a soft, but rough edge. He found it amazing the way she made the words both soft and tough. She ground her hips back and forth and then dropped into a crouch, her brown eyes melting into his. “I love you oh, I love you so, Can't you see it? Don't you know? I can't stand your alibis, Your tellin' lies, you drive me wild, yeah...” Kylo found himself staring at her with his mouth open. She was pretty, sexy and her voice—it was clear that Rey and The Resistance were going to be big. 

When she finished, she gave him a coy smile. Her tongue moved over her top teeth as she grinned, tossing him the mic. 

“Oh, that's how it's going to be.” He laughed deeply in return. She watched his back as he moved. He was bent over slightly, flipping through the music choices on the screen. She hadn't known him long, but this right here, this she was sure was the real Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, and she liked him—a lot. 

He laughed when he turned to see her expression as Dio's “Rainbow in the Dark” started to play. Giving her a cheeky grin, he started to sing. The way he made love to that mic, his lips moving sensually over the words as he sang...He really got into the song, dropping to his knees. But as she listened to the words, watched him sing, it was more than simply a song. Ben really felt the words to this song deeply. She could tell by his expression and the way he caressed the lyrics. He was telling her something. 

“When there's lightning you know it always brings me down cause it's free and I see that it's me who's lost and never found ...” 

When he finished, she clapped. “Wow, Kylo, that was amazing!” 

He grinned, his eyes clear as if the demons she had seen there earlier today were at rest for now. He blushed. “Thanks.” Her fingers brushed his when she took the mic. They stared at each other, but then she blushed moving over to the machine. It took her a little bit to find a song. She was looking for something to speak to him with...she didn't know why, but it seemed important. Finally the music to Lori Carson's “Fall in the Light” started to play. She glanced at the screen with the lyrics. She wasn't sure if she could look at him while she sang. “It's in this moment, hold on and everything has come apart, It's in this moment, right now, When it can come together...” 

Kylo stared at her. She moved to the music as the words spilled from her lips. It was the most beautiful, sensual, stirring performance, and she hadn't even turned around to look at him yet. He felt his heart hammer in his chest, listening to the words, watching her. Her voice, her very presence, pulled at something deep within him, like a siren call. She finally turned and his heart lept into his throat watching her. Her eyes rose up to meet his, it was as if an inner light burned out of her. He was a moth, drawn to her flame, a physical pull caused him to lean toward her. 

When she finished, drawing out the last of the lyrics, they were staring at each other. The room had gone silent as the karaoke machine shut off, but their gazes remained locked.

Finally, in a soft voice Kylo murmured, “I think you won.”


	4. Becoming Closer

It was late afternoon, almost early evening when Rey had texted him. 

“Come over to my place for dinner?” 

He had texted back. “Be there at 8?” 

“Sounds great. CU 2night.” 

He tried not to smile, but she brought it out in him. He had a few hours so he decided to relax. 

Now he sat on the balcony of his hotel room, playing his guitar, an old acoustic that had been his father's. He was singing softly, a favorite song of his by Civil Twilight. The words came easily: 

“How'm I supposed to die, When there's only one way to live? And the treasure in your eyes you were never meant to give and you were made to turn your back, what am I to say to that?” He couldn't get her voice, her eyes, anything about her out of his head. The way she smiled, when she sang the way it carried her away, the light that seemed to glow out of her. It hurt so much, but he knew without a doubt that staying away from her was not something he could do—he was too weak. He wanted her so much, but at the same time he didn't want her, he was not for her. Too much darkness in his soul. 

He took a breath, singing the song and strumming the guitar, his eyes closed. He didn't deserve her. “Where am I suppose to lie if I cannot lie with you...” 

That was when the glass door to the balcony was opened and he looked up to see Hux, his expression sour. “Why the fuck didn't you answer your door?” 

Kylo stood up, clearly angry. “Jesus man, can't I have some time alone witout you or Snoke hanging over me?” He pushed Hux out of his way. 

Hux followed him as Kylo walked into the room. He threw his guitar onto the bed before he threw it across the room instead. Hux snarled. “Hey, I don't like being your babysister any more than you like me being here, okay? Snoke called, he wants us to come down to the studio. He wants to talk to you about some song.” 

Kylo snarled. It had to be about the song Rey gave to him to perform, he was going to take it one step further than performing it at the concert. He liked it enough when he read the song that he wanted to put it on their upcoming album. A tribute to her and her band. It would give them a shove into the limelight. It felt like the right thing to do, which he knew was not something he would usually have done. But damn it, she made him want to be better. He had called the secretary at First Order to let her know they needed to talk to Jedi about recording it, copyright issues and whatever. 

Probably how Snoke heard about it. 

“Fine.” Kylo walked over to the fridge, yanking out one of the tiny bottles of scotch and drank it straight. 

Hux groaned. “If you're going to drink then you are going to have to ride with me and Phasma.” 

Kylo turned with a snarl. “Shut the fuck up, Hux. I don't need to ride with you.” 

Hux threw his arms in the air. “You know what, kill yourself. I don't care.” 

Kylo grabbed another drink downing it in one swallow. “Fuck you too, Hux.” 

Hux surprised him by grabbing him by his shoulder, twisting him around and slugging him in the face. “I am so fucking sick of putting up with your bullshit! I don't care what Snoke says!” Kylo stumbled back from Hux's fist catching him in the lip, splitting it. He spat blood at Hux. 

Kylo snarled and charged Hux grabbing the redhead around the waist. The two men went down taking out the desk with a crash. They struggled on the floor with each other, Hux getting in a few good swings while Kylo got in a couple of good hits too. 

Kylo pushed off the floor, getting to his feet in a fluid movement. Hux managed to get to his feet, remaining in a readied crouch. Hux kicked out at Kylo, but Kylo jumped out of the way hitting the fridge. He kicked at Hux who sidestepped and then picked up a piece of the desk they had broken and threw it at Hux. Kylo then grabbed a chair using it to swing at Hux, who dropped back and snapped his foot out, catching Kylo in the knee. The dark haired man dropped the chair, buckling for a moment and falling forward onto that knee, but his hand snaked out to grab Hux by his shirt, yanked him forward to strike him with his other fist. 

They were back on the floor wrestling when Phasma burst into the hotel room. Her blue eyes flashed with controlled anger as she reached down and grabbed each bandmate by the back of their shirts and lifted them up and apart. 

“That is enough! Everyone can hear you two!” 

Hux snarled at Kylo. “Fucker.” 

Kylo narrowed his eyes, snarling in return. “Asshole.” 

Phasma shook them both. “Shut up, both of you. Get your shit together! We are heading to the studio because Snoke wants to talk.” Hux looked at his girlfriend, her short blonde hair was sticking up a bit, damp from a shower. He could see the muscles in her shoulder and along her throat flex, which caused him to immediately calm down. He loved the fact she could kick his ass. Kylo looked like he wanted to continue fighting, taking on both of them, but he stopped struggling. 

* 

Kylo ended up riding with Hux and Phasma after all, simply because Phasma was unwilling to let him go. She didn't get angry often, but when she did, everyone listened. The talk with Snoke at the studio wasn't much better. With some effort Kylo, got him on board, but with a hitch. The music producer wanted Kylo to do everything he could to steal The Resistance from Jedi Records. He wanted them, or at least Rey, signed to their label by the end of the summer—or else. He didn't say what “or else” would entail, but Kylo was certain he wasn't going to like it. He didn't want Rey on their label, however. She was too good and he didn't want her music to change. 

He didn't know what he was going to do, but that night on his way to her apartment he decided to put it out of his mind for now. 

* 

Rey had tried to make a real dinner, roast chicken, veggies, the whole nine yards, but it had turned into a disaster. She had gotten distracted by the phone first, Mr. Skywalker calling about a song she wrote that The First Order had and her having to explain why they had it; well, really while Kylo Ren had it. Luke had been upset. There was some legal stuff that she wasn't really clear about, but the song was going to be a problem. That was when the food had burned. After that she had had to order pizza. She hoped the pizza would arrive before Kylo. Then Poe had called her asking her if it was true about Kylo Ren. She had had to ask what he was talking about and apparently someone that was a friend of Poe's had seen her at the karaoke place. Then she had had to explain that they were friends, no they weren't dating, no she was not going to make any promises...ugh. 

There was a knock at her door and she had tossed the phone on the couch as she ran to the door. She yanked it open, money for a tip in hand when she saw Kylo standing there with two large pizza boxes. He grinned. “I tipped him, don't worry.” 

Laughing, she held the door open. “Thanks.” 

He set the pizzas down on the kitchen table. 

“I'm glad you came over.” Rey blushed. 

He grinned at her, slipping out of his jacket. “Me too.” 

She set about getting some plates out and Kylo helped pulled out some glasses. 

Soon they were sitting on her couch, pizza on plates in their laps watching some terrible movie that had them both laughing. 

Rey leaned against his shoulder enjoying the dinner and a movie. Neither said anything about the song issue even after dinner as they sat on the couch facing each other, their song notebooks out working on a song together. They did not seem to realize that they were collaborating as they discussed lyrics, music, him singing a few lines of the song, her hurried writing down some changes and then her voice accompanying his, their voices blending together smoothly. 

She took off to the back where her bedroom was coming back out with her acoustic guitar handing it to him. He started playing the melody they were working on. It was strange, but beautiful, melding their two sounds together, their voices complimenting each other. It was one of the most rewarding experiences Kylo had had in a very long time. 

“You are amazing, Rey.” He made her blush when he said it. She looked down at the song they were creating together, written in both their notebooks. Kylo reached over to take her hand in his, “I mean it. Not only do you have a great voice, you are a great writer. I—I could teach you more if you want, about writing that is...” He looked a bit embarrassed. He was going to say he could teach her more if she signed with The first Order, but..he didn't want her on the label and didn't want Snoke controlling her writing or singing...Kylo didn't want her to be like him. Sometimes he felt stronger for his move to the label, but other times he felt like a puppet for Snoke's agenda, whatever that might be. 

He let go of her hand reluctantly. “I should probably go.” He stood, putting the guitar against the couch. She stood too. “Ah...” She grit her teeth together; she wasn't' sure what she wanted to say. 

Hey, you want to have dinner again seemed pushy, but then Kylo smiled. 

“How about I take you out for lunch tomorrow?” 

She pulled her bottom lip with her teeth “I would like that.” 

Kylo grabbed his notebook as Rey walked him to the door. He turned bent down and suddenly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him his lips pressed to hers. He didn't know what he was doing and he didn't want to think about it too much or he wouldn't do it at all. Rey didn't move for a heartbeat or two stunned by the sudden closeness, but then she wrapped her arms around his neck lifting up on her toes and returned the kiss. He dropped his notebook to wrap his other arm around her, his tongue brushing across her lips. Rey met his tongue with her own. Her fingers moved into his hair, which was as soft as she thought it would be, his lips as tender as her imagination had pretended. 

After a moment, when the kiss hovered on the edge of becoming more intense, he pulled away. “Ah, I'll pick you up around one for lunch tomorrow?” 

Rey smiled. “Yes. Oh, uh, I will text you the location. I will have just finished my bo staff class.” 

He grinned as he left feeling like something had been lifted. 

* 

The next day Rey ran by Finn and Poe's place on her way to class. She knocked at the door instead of using her key after that one time. She shuddered with embarrassment just remembering. She heard BB-8 start yelping at the door. After a could of seconds, Finny opened the door and she was instantly attacked by a very fat, round white pug. “Hi!! BB my baby!!” Rey picked up the hyper pug as he tried to lick her face off. Laughing Finn pulled her in. “Hey girl, what's up?” 

“I just wanted to let you know I have a lunch date after my class, but I promise I will make it for rehearsal.” 

Finn grinned, his dark eyes flashing with mischief. “Oooo! A date? Seriously? Must be a special guy.” 

She shrugged, picking up a banana off the counter and peeling it. “It's Kylo Ren.” 

“What? Rey!” 

She took a big bite of the banana, giving her adopted older brother a look, her eyes wide daring him to question her choice of date. 

“I don't know, Rey. I don't like him.” 

“You haven't even met him.” 

“Have you talked to Luke about him?” Finn came over to lean against the counter as she took another bite of her banana. 

With her mouth full, Rey mumbled. “Luke isn't in charge of our personal lives.” 

“Yeah, but Kylo used to be with his label and he is his nephew. I mean there has got be some shit that went on between them. Maybe you should find out what happened before things get too serious.” Finn looked so serious that Rey sighed. 

“Fine, but Finn, he is incredible. He is...there is just something about him that is so compelling. I feel drawn to him. We are actually working on a song together.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” 

Finn sighed. “Just be careful, Rey. I really don't want to go all big brother on him 'cause he looks like he could kick my ass.” 

Rey laughed and moved over to wrap her arms around Finn hugging him tightly. “You're the best brother, you know that?” 

Finn returned the hug. “Yeah, I am pretty awesome.” 

“Where is Poe, by the way?” Rey finished her banana getting ready to head out. 

Finn laughed. “Still asleep.” 

Rey opened her mouth and then stopped herself. “Nope—don't want to know.” 

Laughing, Finn walked with her to the door. “Just promise me you will be carefu with this Kylo Ren guy, okay?” 

“Yes sir, I promise.” Rey gave him a goofy salute as she walked out the door. 

* 

When she walked out of the studio later that day, Kylo was on his bike, leaning on the handles waiting for her. His hair was loose, having flopped over his brow and he was unshaven. His smile moved slowly across his face when he saw her. She walked over grinning. Kylo leaned forward as she came closer gently grabbing her chin and guiding her mouth to his, kissing her softly. His teeth stroked against her bottom lip when he pulled away. “Hey.” 

She blushed. “Hey.” 

He turned around picking up the helmet that was hanging on the back of the bike, a brand new helmet if she guessed correctly. She grinned, taking it before getting on the bike behind him. He slipped his own helmet on and with a roar they took off. 

* 

Hux sat in a rental car glaring. So that was what he was doing, sneaking off to see some girl...he didn't know for certain, but he was pretty sure this was the girl, the one who Kylo got that song from. Phasma took a long draw on her straw. “So he has a girlfriend, so what? Maybe he will mellow out some.” 

Hux started the car. “It's not that he has a girlfriend, didn't you recognize her? She is the lead singer of the new band at Jedi, his old recording studio. The Resistance, the one he wants to record that song from, the girl Snoke told him to get on our label.” 

Phasma put her feet up on the dash. “So, he's doing what he's supposed to be doing.” 

Hux started the car. “That kiss didn't look faked. I don't trust him.” 

Phasma rolled her eyes. “Hux, you have never liked him. And he doesn't like you. Don't go borrowing trouble, alright? Unless Snoke says to put a stop to it, let Kylo have some fun while getting her signed, okay? Besides, if you wanna take this car some place I could show you exactly what kind of fun I'm thinking about.” 

Hux blinked in surprise. She was always the more aggressive one in their relationship, but even knowing that, sometimes she startled him. Especially when she smiled like that, wickedly sinful and full of promise. Suddenly Kylo and Rey were forgotten and he drove Phasma someplace quiet. 

* 

Rey had no idea where they were going for lunch. Her arms were tight about his middle, her head resting against his shoulders. He didn't go into the city. Instead, they hit the highway leaving the city limits and heading out further. He finally pulled off when she saw the signs for a state park. Soon they were surrounded by trees heading up into the hills. Finally, Kylo found a quiet spot pulling off and parking the bike. There was no one around, just the two of them. He helped her off the bike. “Are we having a picnic?” Rey asked as Kylo opened up the satchels on the side pulling out some bags. 

“I thought it might be nice to get away from everything and everyone.” He gave her one of his rare smiles. 

* 

Soon they were on a blanket on their backs. Kylo had stopped at a sandwich shop to pick up some basic types of sandwiches (since he didn't know what she liked), some soda, chips and for dessert chocolate-chip cookies (those he had felt confident with, who didn't like chocolate chip cookies?) 

Now they were lying on their backs next to each other watching the clouds drift by overhead. Rey had her head on his chest. He had one arm behind his head and the other around her. 

They had been quiet for a while, both of them drifting, dozing softly when she asked. “Why did you leave Jedi?” 

Kylo didn't answer right away. She could tell by his breathing that for a moment he was upset, but quickly let it go, tightening his arm around her shoulders as if gathering strength from holding her. 

“My Uncle Luke. He wanted me to be a certain kind of singer/songwriter. He didn't want me to follow in my grandfather's footsteps. He was a big rock star at one time before drugs killed him. He was afraid I would get hooked up with the wrong crowd, not cleanse my soul 'till I'm on my deathbed like grandpa. But he treated me like I had already done all these things he worried about me doing. So when The First Order asked me to head The Knights of Ren, I left.” 

Rey was quiet. “Do you regret it?” 

Kylo frowned, staring at the clouds. “Sometimes.” 

“Do you ever think about going back?” Rey rolled onto her stomach, her hand on his chest so she could look down at him. His brown eyes looked into hers. “Sometimes, but that will never happen.” 

He could tell she wanted to ask something else, but she decided against it. She reached up to run the tips of her fingers along his chin, then gently along his lower lip. He sat up, pulling her with him. He cradled the back of her head tugging her closer, his mouth covering hers. He kissed her deeply, tongue sliding along hers with a soft moan. Rey returned the kiss with just as much passion. 

They parted slowly; his teeth tugged at her bottom lip gently before they parted. She blushed, smiling at him before she laid back down wrapping her arm around him quietly enjoying this time with him.


	5. Anger Leads to Suffering

Luke shuffled through some papers on his desk, but he was having a hard time staying focused. Rey was spending time with Kylo Ren. He had just learned this bit of information from Finn and Luke wasn't sure how he felt about it. Granted, Rey's personal life was her own, but he felt responsible for her. He also felt that he had let Ben down and was responsible for him as well. Luke finally gave up on the paperwork and decided to call his sister, Ben's mother. 

The phone rang a couple of times and just when he considered hanging up, someone picked up. That was when he heard his sister's harried voice. “Yes?” 

“Leia? Everything okay?” 

Leia chuckled. “You know there is always a crisis going on here. Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing this work.” 

Luke smiled to himself. “Well, it's hard to stop working in politics even when you are a retired senator. There are always wrongs to be righted.” 

He could see the smile on Leia's face when she spoke next. “So what can I do for my brother, eh?” 

Luke was quiet for a moment. “I suppose you know Ben is here in the city.” 

Leia sighed. “Yes. I saw something about the concert series at the big stadium. I figured his band was there.” 

“He is seeing a girl from one of my acts.” Luke said it softly. 

He could almost hear the break in her voice. “Have you seen him?” 

“No.” 

They were both quiet, but then Leia spoke softly. “When did I lose him, Luke?” 

“Leia, it's not your fault. We all let him down, even Han. The accident, Han's death just severed the ties that were already fraying.” 

“This girl, what's she like?” Leia sounded sad yet desperate at the same time. 

“Rey? She is a wonderful girl. Gifted musician, incredible voice. I actually think she might be good for him.” Luke said the words and it surprised him, he did think that maybe Rey could bring Ben back to them. “Yeah. I think she will be really good for him, Leia.” 

* 

Kylo woke on his stomach covered in sweat. He had dreamt about the accident again—watching his father die. Kylo's eyes opened, but he closed them again. The bed was soaked with his sweat; his whole body felt weak and for a moment he thought maybe he would just stay right here, melt away, forget everything, cease to exist. 

But he opened his eyes and forced himself to get up, feeling the sweat cooling while it rolled down his back. He simply did as he always did when this happened. He grabbed some clean clothing and went to take a shower. He leaned his hands against the shower wall, letting the hot water run over him, pushing the dream away. Kylo focused his thoughts on Rey. He smiled, pushing off the shower wall. Just thinking about her smile, her kiss...He let the water wash over him a little longer than usual, but when he stepped out he was feeling better. 

He dressed in black jeans and an old t-shirt. Flopping onto the bed, Kylo called room service for some breakfast when his cellphone rang. He picked it up, his whole face lighting up when he saw it was Rey. 

He answered the phone with what he felt was a foolish grin on his face. “Hey...” 

He could hear the smile in her voice. “Hey Kylo. You have any plans today?” 

“No, why?” 

“Well...I was wondering if you would like to work out with me? I mean just the two of us, no classes or anything. There is a gym attached to the studio. I mean I guess you remember that and I have it to myself today...” She trailed off knowing that asking him to come to the studio would be difficult. But she had no surprises waiting for him. She was telling the truth—everyone would indeed be gone that day. 

She could tell he was thinking in the silence between them, but she just felt him, a turmoil of feelings, but then he spoke, his voice soft. “Sure, why not? When should I be there?” 

* 

Hux followed Kylo out of the hotel. He had just slipped out of Phasma's room to head back to his own when he saw Kylo step into the elevator. Hux had narrowed his eyes and then ran into his room to grab his shoes and head downstairs. He caught up to Kylo just as Kylo stepped to the stairs leading down to the hotel's underground garage. Must be going for his bike, Hux thought. He continued to follow, staying in the shadows when possible. Snoke had called last night, ordering Hux to follow Kylo.

Snoke had stated that he was worried that Kylo would not bring that girl Rey over to their record company. Hux was annoyed to have to keep tabs on Kylo, but he did smirk at the thought that Snoke was losing faith in Kylo. Hux grinned. He would be happy to get rid of Kylo. Yeah, he was the lead singer, his voice and lyrics part of the reason that the Knights of Ren had gained so much popularity as of late, and the man had some pipes, but Hux just didn't think Kylo was ever completely right for the band. There was too much light in him. Hux watched as Kylo mounted his bike and took off out of the garage. 

* 

When Kylo arrived at the studio, he saw that Rey was correct. There was no one here. He parked his motorcycle, glancing around and wondered if he should just walk in when Rey poked her head out of the door. “Hey! Come on in, everyone is out because they are doing a cleaning in the recording studio, but Luke said I could use the gym. Come on.” She held the door open for him. Kylo stepped inside. Once in the reception area, he suddenly felt more than a little overcome. He remembered coming here when he was younger, sitting on his father's lap while he and Uncle Luke talked. Recording his first record...his mother stopping by...Kylo shook his head. That was all in the past now. No going back. >[?Rey didn't notice his reaction, or if she did she chose to say nothing as she led him back. “Have you ever used a bo staff before?” 

Kylo shook his head. “No, I haven't. I used to fence with my uncle when I was younger though.” 

She grinned at him. “Come on then—this will be fun.” 

* 

Barefoot, both Rey and Kylo moved to a few mats that Rey had pulled over. She had two long pieces of wood in each hand, the middles of each were wrapped in what looked to be heavy leather. 

She handed him one of the staves. “Okay, I want you to hold the staff like this.” Rey demonstrated where to put his hands. “Now I am just going to show you some quick moves just so you can see what we are going to do and then we will do them slowly.” Rey smiled at Kylo. He nodded, taking a step away from her. The staff seemed light, but solid. Rey smiled then, holding the staff against her side with her hand. She bowed to him then, so quickly he almost didn't follow when Rey started to move. She went through a quick series of blocks, lunges, spins, one and two handed spins. She was amazing. Then, just as quickly she stopped and bowed. Raising her head she gave Kylo a quirky grin. 

“You just might be able to kick my ass.” Kylo nodded, walking closer and taking the stance she had displayed just moments before. They spent the next couple of hours going through exercises with the staff. Kylo even used it to show her a few fencing moves. By the time they were about ready to quit Kylo had picked up the staff quickly, his natural grace and experience with a foil helped with picking up the bo staff. 

At one point, Rey spun her staff, lightly hitting Kylo in the chest. He stumbled backwards losing his footing and going down on his back. “Oh gosh, Kylo. I am so sorry! I didn't think I hit you that hard!” She rushed over to check on him reaching out to grab his hand, but Kylo grabbed her arm yanking her forward and then swiftly stuck his foot under her against her stomach and pushed, lifting her up into the air. Squealing and laughing, Rey dropped her staff reaching out which caused Kylo to grab her other hand balancing her above him. She was all smiles, looking down on him, strands of her hair had come lose, sticking to her cheeks. Her eyes sparkled. 

Kylo's heart stuttered looking up at her. He dropped her down against his chest, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her in a hard, passionate kiss. Cupping his head in her hands, Rey returned his kiss with equal passion. His hands moved into her hair as they rolled over to press her to the mat. Her arms went around him and Rey returned his kiss, deepening it, one leg hooked around his thigh. Kylo stroked her hair back from her face, his long fingers threading through her soft hair, kissing her, nipping at her lips. Kylo rubbed his nose against hers. “Rey...” He stared into her eyes. She smiled up at him, taking her forefinger and tracing his bottom lip. Her eyes were warm, passionate. “I love you, Kylo.” 

He was about to say something to her when they both heard. “Ben?” 

Kylo frowned, looking over in confusion. Luke was standing in the doorway of the gym, looking at the two of them on the floor. 

“Ben...” Luke stepped forward, and Kylo panicked...he pushed to his feet, looking between Rey and Luke. “Don't touch me, and it's Kylo—Ben is dead and gone.” 

Rey sat up and grabbed his arm. “Kylo. Please, why don't you talk to him?” 

Kylo glared at her, yanking his arm free. “I should have guessed! You're only going out with me to get me to come back, aren't you? Try to make me switch back so you guys can use me again and stifle my music! Well fuck you—fuck both of you.” 

Kylo stormed out. Rey glanced at Luke and then leapt to her feet running after him. Kylo had moved swiftly making it out into the parking lot before she caught up with him. “Kylo wait!! I didn't know he would show up!! That's not why I am going out with you! I...I love you.” 

Kylo stopped, his back still to her. She could see the tension in his shoulders and the stiffening of his back. “Don't say things you don't mean, Rey. They have a way of biting you in the ass.” He didn't turn around. He took long strides to his bike getting on board and taking off with a squeal of rubber against pavement, never giving her a look. 

Rey watched him go, her heart dropping to her stomach. 

* 

Kylo was speeding. He wasn't even sure where he was going, only that he needed to get away from everything. His mind was a mess, he couldn't think straight. Was he in love with Rey? It had hurt seeing his uncle more than he thought it would, which made him think about his mother. He hadn't seen any of them in several years and then memories of his father flooded his thoughts. Then Rey, did he love her? He felt something that made his insides burn. He didn't want to love her. That would bring more pain, especially when she learned what kind of man he really was... 

Kylo took a corner too fast. It had grown dark, the streetlight just started to flicker on when up ahead there were headlights. He just barely avoided the oncoming car, yanking his bike to the right. Kylo yelled a curse, kicking the car as it shot past him. Kylo stopped his bike, pulling to the side in order to catch his breath after the near miss when he heard the screech of tires. He looked over his shoulder to see the car turning around. Kylo snarled, yanking off his helmet. This guy wanted a fight, then he would give it to them. 

Suddenly there was the sound of a sharp snap and something hit Kylo in the hip. He jerked, hot pain racing up and down his leg from where he was hit, blood quickly spreading out from the wound. He stumbled back against his bike when another shot hit him in the shoulder almost spinning him, the bike blocking his fall. 

Kylo turned trying to get back on his bike to get the fuck out of there. The pain from the gunshot wounds was blinding and he almost lost consciousness right then, but he took a breath using the pain to focus. The car was turning back around just as Kylo got on the bike, started the engine and began to pull his bike away. There was a flash of light blinding him for a moment and then the next thing that happened was the car hit him sending Kylo flying across the pavement.


End file.
